Personal growth is a choice we should surrender to. No greater accomplishments in life than setting and completing goals, and moving on to repeating the process for everything you want or desire in life. self-improvement is a must, we should strive to find ways to implement this into our daily routine.
Hello to you reading this. Thank you for taking the time out to be here, and if you are here, one or both things are accurate; you are curious to see my input on self-improvement, (whether to pique your interest or to judge, bothers me not) or you are genuinely interested in some self-improvement tips. Let me start by saying, I am not a ‘professional’ in the field, but I have a lot of experience with the topic personally and have gathered a significant amount of professional advice from, psychiatrist, psychologist, neurologist, talk therapist and behavioral coaches, all of which I have tried to implement into my life, and will continue to implement.
I am an enthusiastic fan of self-improvement in every possibility in the word. Growth, self-care, and self-improvement are like a way of life indigenous to a lot of people, but what can be more beautiful than to elevate to a happier, better, more successful version of yourself? Whether it is setting goals, time management, academic or any accomplishments, financial stability, setting boundaries, etc., doing things that make you happier as an individual, or becoming a better version of yourself, it is essential to elevate. There is not one ‘fool-proof’ way to improve one’s self, there are a lot of strategies that you can try to utilize.
Let us start strong. Repeat these words: ‘I am in control! If I cannot control my circumstances, I will make new ones.’ Take responsibility for how you think, even how you act. Shift your thinking, because setting a goal, dream or vision helps you grow awareness of the possibilities of accomplishing what you want. Change is inevitable, but personal growth is a choice. Failing does not make you a failure, you fail when you stop trying, and you should never stop from trying to achieve personal growth.
I have prepared a few simple ways to get started:
I will call this first step, the ‘babystep,’ which is identifying, then Setting goals, manifesting, and working towards your goals. I start with this as it is the least expensive, only costs you time with yourself, and your thoughts, a genuine moment that many people avoid out of fear of what they may discover.
For those who have not been practicing setting goals for themselves prior to now, think of it as nothing more than a practice that you need to learn, like running, we must first take ‘babysteps,’ to get to the main goal. The main focus of a goal is results. Going after or trying to accomplish something you want or may even need. Some say if it is a goal you can easily reach or check off your list, then it is a ‘bad’ goal, as your goal should not be “TOO” easy to attain. While I can see the logic behind this statement, everyone is not at the same level or equipped and experienced to navigate these fields, for distinct reasons. Some people lack motivation, some time or time management skills, resources, even ambition. Just know that everyone is different, therefore I believe that everyone new to this should start small, but strong. For me, setting smaller goals you can actually accomplish can lead to the experience you need to build comfort levels and even confidence before eventually going for and setting bigger goals. One thing is certain, setting and accomplishing your goal will leave you with a sense of purpose, and sense of fulfilment, both of which can bring multiple streams of happiness, in various levels.
Whether it is material, physical, psychological, financial, economic, fame or notoriety, everything you can think of from a house or private jet (depending on your ambition) or a specific status, everything that you can dream in a realistic sense can be attained, starting with simply identify what your heart desires, and what route to take to get there.
The first and most generic process is to start by making a simple to-do list. Start off small with only things you already know you have to accomplish for the next 3- 24hrs. This is a fantastic way to start practicing and utilizing time and task management. Setup up your calendar to keep track of, document and remember events, appointments, sessions, birthdays, etc., anything relevant that has a time and/or date associated with it.
Now, once you have set up your calendar, reminders, alarms and notifications, the most important counterpart is to periodically check to make sure you are actually staying on track with the tasks you have to get done. This will not solve anything overnight, give yourself a few weeks, maybe a few months, no more than three. Keep using this practice, trust me, you will start to see the importance of organizing your daily, weekly, or monthly tasks. This is simply put a pre-requisite to setting goals, and you will see that it is just as easily applicable, taking on the same exact framework.
Similar to creating a to-do list, when trying to set goals, you have to spend some time in your head, asking the right questions most importantly, “where would I like to be, in the next week, six (6) months to a year, or two to five years”. Remember, the two primary goals are short term goals, which are not necessarily easier to attain, but due to the shorter timeframes might be more attainable or depending on the individual might be the entire opposite, and long-term goals, which require more focus, perseverance, and dedication. Sticking with the babystep method, lets establish a few important questions that need some attention before you can begin:
1. what do you really want? What are your dreams, aspirations, and desires?
Do not reject your thoughts, relax, and fantasize a little. Imagination and creativity come from within. DO NOT LET PEOPLE STUNT NOR STEAL YOUR DREAM! Move your fantasy to theory, using facts, ask the most important question, “AM I ABLE TO DO THIS?”
You can dream and fantasize about going to the moon, but let us be realistic, a good 95% of the population will never be able to afford to leave this planet for the foreseen future.
2. what do you know how to do? What are you good at?
Look at all your strengths, which can be something you are definitely good at or something you really enjoy. Both are good to have at the same time, but it is imperative that you are at least average at what it is that you have identified as a strength
3. can you create a plan from gathering information and resources, put all that you have gathered together and if you can, what can you accomplish from this?
For example, if you learn how to replace brakes on a car, and you find some information on how to get certified, and be better at it, what then can you do with this knowledge, get an auto mechanic job, or start an auto mechanic business?
4. what is the best, or more practical path or process to successfully making it?
This comes down to the individual personality, some people can dive at an opportunity by just a leap of faith, while some have to see somewhat of a clear path before even considering that option if anything at all.
5. Am I willing to pay the price to do what I have to do to get where I want to get?
Everything in life by technical definition, has an underlying price, from the transfer of energy, time spent researching and collecting data, cost of training, use of resources, time to complete etc.
I want to be a doctor and make good money, but what is the price for the training, not to mention the amount of time, energy, and consistency I would have to dedicate to getting to that goal. For some the financial road block and time is already too much, whether you are desperate or not.
There is an unsolicited list of great benefits of both to-do lists and setting goals and deadlines. A simple alarm to wake up an hour earlier on one day, or a reminder to pick up something important from the store, or the last-minute appointment that was set for the only timeslot you are available on a particular day/time of the day/week or completing an important task for any reason by a certain deadline. The list of benefits could go on forever. I went from having a few birthdays of old acquaintances per month, to now my entire calendar looking like a Christmas tree, with color coding for priority, and icons for description, sometimes even with exact time and location that the ‘event’ is taking place. (Event can be any task whether it is an actual event or not).
After you have asked yourself all these questions and carefully given some thought to your responses and thought process, then you can start to formulate a plan that will not blindly send you off the rails but function as a guide to accomplishing the discussed goal, from start to finish if executed properly.
For this brief demonstration, I will use the last example; you want to be an orthopedic doctor. Responses will be generic but somewhat realistic
What do you really want? What are your dreams, aspirations, and desires?
You want financial stability and would like to make a name for yourself. Since you broke your leg at 13 years old, you have become very fascinated with the recovery process and the procedure to heal a broken bone.
What do I know how to do? What am I good at?
You are great with your hands, showed off your skills in culinary class in high school, making precision incisions, deboning fishes, and chicken, and stitching them back together for creativity to form a flying dragon.
Can you create a plan from gathering information and resources, put all that you have gathered together and if you can, what can you accomplish from this?
You have found a couple different colleges that offer undergraduate in your interested medical field, all takes 4 years to complete, possibility for scholarship exist, or student loans, or paying your tuition upfront, plus there is a great chance you may not have enough time to even consider a part time job. Did I forget to mention, you have to have a two-year residency, after college, and another 4 years in order to become a doctor. That is 10 years of studying and practicing, the pay will be great, but can you make it happen?
What is the best, or more practical path or process to successfully make it?
If you made it this far and you are still interested, you must really want it. So you get a scholarship, and get student loans to fill the gap, but now you must work 5 times as hard to stay on your scholarship for the first 4 years, as a testament to see if you even have what it takes to keep on this journey, you decided you will figure the rest out as you go along, and decided to break your final goal (doctor) into three realist goals, undergraduate, residency, and whatever follows.
Am I willing to pay the price to do what I have to do to get where I want to get?
If you have been following along with my make-belief scenario, the last thing to ask yourself is the above question. This section is really put to the test, how bad do you really want it into perspective. After completing your first goal, you now have a debt of $164000 usd, you have not aged so well over the duration of the first two legs of goals due to sleepless night and way less me time. You are a step closer to your dream job and dream pay, but was it worth all the time and debt? If you love it, and have maintained that same kind of passion, your answer should very easily be ‘YES.’ You know once you start making the ‘big bucks’ you can catch up and pay off the debt you have accumulated to get to where you are and should not stop at this point until you have made it to your final goal.
After surviving all that brainstorming you should have a somewhat detailed plan as to what it is that you want to accomplish, how you are going to get it, and at least the “costs” and time associated. Now that I am thinking about it, I could have stuck with a scenario much simpler, but being an enthusiast, I dove into the deeper end. Do not be too critical of my scenario, some information used is factual, while some was fictional, to not get too complicated. After making it this far, I am seriously considering turning this into a book of some sort.
Another form of setting goals is manifesting. Sometimes used as a sort of joke, other times more seriously like a whispered prayer. Th word in itself means to display or show a quality or feeling by one’s action or appearance. Manifesting for me is a touchy topic. There tend to be too much superstition around it where some people believe that whatever you say, you can speak it into existence, or cause it to happen. There is more of a negative connotation to negatively spoken things, goals, or actions, yet there lies this lingering bias to positive ones. While this is an effective way to constantly remind yourself of your goal, only speaking it, in my opinion, will not cause something positive or negative to happen out the blue. Being a realist, I cannot say I share the same views as you can essentially say whatever you like, but the odds of anything happening or even being a possibility lies with the actions you take. To avoid contention, I will not use any negative manifestation, but a positive one. “I want a private jet;” goes without argument that it will not pop up at your footsteps as soon as you utter the words. If you relax and slack off every day, do not have a career, do not have any inheritance, do not gamble, nor play the lottery, the odds of that dream ever coming through are slim to none. But, if you wake up early every day, work hard, navigate your life in a way where you are always trying to elevate, make more money and smarter choices with life and or finances, you never know what the likelihood of it actually happening one day could be. Manifesting can be a good practice and can easily be a way of life no different than a religion, that all comes down to what you believe.
Let’s say for example, you have a routine to wake up every single day and tell/convince yourself that you will have a great day and nothing that happens no matter how negative, will not affect the outcome of your day, then I say go for it, cause that is a very strong belief, and no one should contradict your belief once it is guided by positivity. I welcome the use of manifestation in this way, as the person doing it tends to be happier, more friendly, caring and polite, and have a more positive outlook on various situations.
The important thing to take away from my take on manifestation is, if you are constantly reminding yourself of a goal you want to accomplish “realistically,” AND you are dedicated to putting in the work, the probability of you accomplishing your goal versus someone who puts in zero work, but still reminds themselves of their goal, is much higher. But let us just agree that manifesting is a way to recirculate your dreams, goals, and aspirations verbally or mentally, but it means nothing without dedication, perseverance, challenging work, time management and a splash of reality.
We are not perfect beings, and may never be, but, we all have a choice to elevate, and personal growth is a ‘best practice’ we all need in our lives. Even when you think you have gotten to the pinnacle of it, you will find there’s still levels to it. I am not saying go be a personal growth guru and dedicate the rest of your life to being better, but to take what you need from these lessons to make your life easier, more organized, and ultimately happier.
Topics to come
- Create a gratitude list
- Setting boundaries.
- Self-care ideas, and routines